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"I really did the work early on, and it's a lot when so much is going on outside of you," Young, 29, told Life & Style. "You have to heal otherwise, you are going to constantly — like, your emotions depend on what is happening."
After experiencing whirlwind courtship on The Bachelorette, Young is ready to re-enter the dating world — but she's consciously seeking "balance" in her return to romance.
"It's really weird because, you know, you sit down and you're like, 'OK, so are we getting married in like two weeks?' … You know, like should we talk about our favorite colors, or should we talk about how many kids we want on the first date?" she said. "It's just a really weird balance because The Bachelor world is so quick. It's been going well."
After ending Matt James' Bachelor season as his runner-up, Young went on to lead season 18 of The Bachelorette. The former teacher fell in love with Olukoya, 28, and the pair became the first Black couple in the franchise's history to get engaged.
"I fall more in love every day," Young previously told PEOPLE of the engagement. "I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family with a healthy marriage and I thought, I'm not going to give up until I have that. He's my person. And I didn't know I could love at this level."
Olukoya added, "It's so natural for us to be together. I've never felt the way I feel before. I'm all in!"
Six months after her Bachelorette season finale aired, Young and Olukoya announced their split in June. "I will say that this is not something that I foresaw and I'll leave it there," she said on The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast in July.
Olukoya later revealed that he "broke up with her over the phone."
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"You don't want to break up with someone, especially your fiancée, over the phone," he explained on The Viall Files podcast in September. "It was her birthday weekend. We're all here in L.A. because her and I got invited to this Wango Tango event. At the beginning of the weekend, things were kind of rocky. It got even more rocky. Wango Tango happened. Her and I got into an argument right before doing all those press interviews and whatnot."
Olukoya continued, "Long story short, the weekend was not a good weekend. Her and I are up late having very deep conversations. I think the day before I was having very deep conversations with her friends too, because her friends weren't having a good time either. It was just a bad weekend for everybody."
As time progressed post-split, Young shared on Instagram that she was "happier."