Yahoo Finance Why Busier Isn't Better
"No matter how hard it is, or how much scrutiny you face, you have to hang on to what's most important." This advice came from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, as she addressed the Massachusetts Conference for Women in December 2014. During the same keynote, Clinton discussed the difficulty that working moms face, noting, "It's still so hard for women in the 21st century to balance motherhood and work."
While that concept may be an understatement, it's one that's gaining more traction lately in Washington. In his State of the Union address last month, President Barack Obama highlighted the plight of a typical middle-class American couple with two children whose child care costs more than their mortgage (a fact faced by parents in 20 states and the District of Columbia, according to a report by Child Care Aware of America). Calling affordable, high-quality child care "not a nice-to-have -- it's a must-have," Obama touched on other issues that impact parents' ability to effectively balance work and home life, such as the lack of guaranteed paid sick leave and paid maternity leave in America.
Washington is catching up to what working parents of both genders -- as well as plenty of people without children -- have long experienced. No matter what you do, it seems like there's always too much to accomplish, and neither enough time nor resources available to help you get it all done. When it comes to the situation of working mothers, Katrina Alcorn discusses work-life imbalance particularly convincingly in her book "Maxed Out: American Moms on the Brink."
After suffering a series of panic attacks while trying to navigate the daily gauntlet of working and parenting, Alcorn wrote her book to shed more light on the prevalence of the problem. In one powerful section, the author interviews her friends about things you can't see about their lives from the outside and reveals the reality of the intense pressures faced by even those with perfect facades and enviable Facebook status updates.
Christine Carter is another kindred spirit in the quest to find sanity in days bordering on chaos. Like Alcorn (and before "Thrive" author Arianna Huffington called her collapse from work-related exhaustion a "wake-up call"), Carter had to undergo her own health crisis from trying to "have it all" before she decided to start doing things differently.
In Carter's new book, "The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work," she describes how it took landing in the emergency room -- exhausted, dehydrated and feverish -- to make her step back, slow down and gradually take steps to reduce the overwhelming burden she created by allowing herself to become too busy.
If you recognize yourself in these stories, it makes sense to find ways to downshift before it's too late. Here are five ways to decelerate to a more moderate pace and find your own happy medium:
Don't see "busy" as a badge of honor. Are you someone who competes to be the busiest of them all? If so, you might want to think twice about that strategy. In a recent interview, Carter explains that many people strive for a state of crazy-business because it's seen as a sign of someone's level of success and importance.
In the interview, the author points out the cultural conditioning we're up against: "If you're not busy and stressed and overwhelmed, then the reverse might be true: You might not be important or very significant; you might be lazy and of low character."
Since being too busy is really nothing more than what researchers call "cognitive overload" -- which hampers your ability to plan, think and innovate -- learn to recognize when you're using your business to seek status, and reverse the trend to seek more solace.
Pick your priorities, and cap your limits. One of the main ways people get themselves in over their heads is by saying "no" to nothing. Carter recommends identifying your top five priorities, spending 95 percent of your time on activities related to them and declining most everything else. "Because we can't do everything, we need to make choices," Carter said in another recent interview.
In her book "Maxed Out," Alcorn recommends saying "no" to "anyone who is claiming too much of your time," whether they're your boss, co-workers or kids.
Once you've chosen your focus, it's important to avoid overdoing it. For example, select a number of hours per day to spend on priority-related activities, and don't go over your stated limit, even if you have enough time to do so. By capping the time you spend even on things you care about, you'll avoid burning out.
Seek your point of overlap. Your "sweet spot," according to Carter, is the overlap between where you have the most ease in your life and where you have your greatest strength. Think of two circles to represent what makes you feel the least stress and resistance, and where you experience your greatest power. In a Venn diagram, the place where those circles overlap becomes your sweet spot.
Strive to operate from your personal point of overlap, rather than concentrating too much energy in one circle or the other. By doing so, you can reach your maximum impact without the overwhelming feeling that comes from either overreaching as an overachiever or spending too much time coasting if you're more Type B.
Put routine tasks on autopilot. When you think of things you do with ease -- without effort or resistance -- you're thinking of unconscious tasks that you've learned to do on autopilot. Carter recommends automating routine tasks like exercise and eating to avoid having to drain your decision-making power on everyday tasks.
Since research has shown that you only have a limited supply of willpower each day, it's smart to save it for the five realms you've prioritized. If you make mundane activities routine, you won't fatigue your willpower muscles on things you can do automatically.
Take a microstep. Sometimes we make ourselves too busy by insisting that everything be done to perfection at 110 percent. Instead, Carter advocates an approach that might be called "something is better than nothing" -- doing just enough to keep your hand in an activity, and doing it consistently over time.
In her book, she describes an example of a three-minute exercise routine to which she has committed over the last two years that have yielded big dividends. In your own life, think about how taking incremental actions on a daily basis can add up over time, getting you even further ahead than if you'd pushed yourself to burnout.
Robin Madell has spent over two decades as a corporate writer, journalist, and communications consultant on business, leadership and career issues. She serves as a copywriter, speechwriter and ghostwriter for executives and entrepreneurs across diverse industries, including finance, technology, healthcare, law, real estate, advertising and marketing. Robin has interviewed over 1,000 thought leaders around the globe and has won 20 awards for editorial excellence. She has served on the Board of Directors of the Healthcare Businesswomen's Association in both New York and San Francisco, and contributed to the book "Be Your Own Mentor: Strategies from Top Women on the Secrets of Success," published by Random House. Robin is also the author of "Surviving Your Thirties: Americans Talk About Life After 30" and co-author of "The Strong Principles: Career Success." Connect with her on LinkedIn or follow her on Twitter: @robinmadell.
More From US News & World Report
