Constance Wu is reflecting on the time she spent at a psychiatric hospital when her mental health was suffering.
The Crazy Rich Asians star appears on this week's new episode of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk, opening up to co-hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield Norris about her attempted suicide following the backlash she received from her tweets about Fresh Off the Boat.
In 2019, Wu wrote on Twitter that she was "really upset" about the show's renewal, sparking outrage from fans who didn't think the rising star was appreciative of her position on the ABC comedy. At the time, she had not yet come forward with her claims of "sexual harassment and intimidation" on the set of the ABC sitcom by one of the show's producers.
"After reading these DMs from an Asian actress, I just got in this state. Like my palms are still itching when I think about it," the 40-year-old actress explained on the show. "A friend who had come to check on me pulled me over from climbing over the ledge and dragged me into the elevator and took me into a cab and took me to a psychiatric emergency room where they checked me in and I slept the night on a cot in the waiting room in the psychiatric E.R. in New York City under observation."
"Then there were two counselors the next morning who talked to me," she said. "I had to be in therapy with a psychiatrist and psychologist every day for a while."
The actress added that receiving professional help for her mental health was a turning point after realizing the danger she was putting herself in.
"It was helpful. I needed it," Wu admitted. "I was unsafe at that point. I was in a mental place of just beating myself. And so much shame. And just feeling like — feeling like I didn't deserve to live. Feeling like the world hated me. Feeling like I ruined everything for everyone. Maybe I did for some people but, you know, you make mistakes. Right?"
Courtesy of Red Table Talk
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Wu first opened up about the experience this summer in a lengthy statement following her time away from social media. The Hustlers star said it was "a scary moment that made me reassess a lot in my life."
"For the next few years, I put my career aside to focus on my mental health. AsAms don't talk about mental health enough. While we're quick to celebrate representation wins, there's a lot of avoidance around the more uncomfortable issues within our community," she explained in the July Twitter post. "Even my tweets became a subject so touchy that most of my AsAm colleagues decided that was the time to avoid me or ice me out. I'll admit it hurt a lot, but it also made me realize how important it is to reach out and care for people who are going through a hard time."
Because of the experience, Wu chose to write a book titled Making a Scene. In the memoir, which came out on Tuesday, she recounts deeply personal moments from her life across essays.
In speaking out now, Wu said she aims to "reach out and help people talk about this in order to understand it, reckon with it, and open pathways to healing."
"If we want to be seen, really seen... we need to let all of ourselves be seen, including the parts we're scared of or ashamed of — parts that, however imperfect, require care and attention," she said at the time. "And we need to stop beating each other (and ourselves) up when we do. So while my book is not always the most flattering portrayal, it's as honest as I know how to be. Because the truth is, I'm not poised or graceful or perfect. I'm emotional. I make mistakes ... lots of 'em!"
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.